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Nourishing Memories of our 2011 Family retreat camp “Planting Seeds of Peace and Joy”

The summer holidays is a time for families to gather and enjoy each others’ company. And “Planting seeds of peace and joy” was just the opportunity to do that. It was the second family retreat/camp organized by Plum Village Hong Kong at the Sai Kung Outdoor Training Camp. This year there were in total 200 people including our new resident monastic sangha of 8 sisters and 6 brothers.

On arrival the sangha met everyone with bright smiles and offered lotus greetings. There was a buzz in the air as children ran about discovering the camp grounds, the teens milled about unsure of what to expect, the adults were busy registering and checking the schedule. The camp finally kicked off with dinner at 6:30pm and orientation at 8:30pm. Soon after it was time to wind down and prepare for an early start at 5am the next day. Everyone tried their best to practice Noble Silence in order to return to themselves, giving their bodies and mind time to rest.

The next day began with silent sitting meditation and chanting. In the cool stillness of the morning it was such a pleas ant surprise to see so many young faces take up the challenge of keeping noble silence and waking up early enough to join the meditation. It was  a wonderful gift that the young people offered their presence to the sangha in this way. The children ma de a great impression in leading the walk so mindfully that cars driving by must have watched in awe the long procession of people walking so peacefully together.

The Dharma talk began at 10:30am for the adults while the children and teens/young people had their own separate programs. Everyone reconnected over lunch and ate in the traditional family style. Meals were eaten in silence for the first 20 minutes, and people reported that they really enjoyed eating silently as it allowed them to appreciate the food as well as nurtured each other with their mindful presence.

For many people the highlight of the camp was the special indoor camp fire. The hall was dark with only lit lotus flowers curving around making a path to the unlit camp fire. The atmosphere was charged with hushed anticipation as the children were led in first, followed by the adults. Everyone had to be quiet in order to invite some special guests, the Lakota Native American Indian spirit to help open the evening…

“I walk with beauty before me. I walk with beauty behind me. I walk with beauty above me. I walk with beauty below me. I walk with beauty all around me. As I walk the beauty way. May all my thoughts be beautiful. Ho! May all my words be beautiful. Ho! May all my actions be beautiful. Ho! As I walk my life the beauty way. As I walk my life the beauty way….”

The ‘torch’ was carried by the tune to the beat of the drum, and lit up the white fire of ‘joyfully together’. This special camp fire has become somewhat of a tradition as it brings so much joy to the young and old alike. Imagine a medium sized sports gymnasium filled with 200 hundred people all playing games together. The thundering laughter of pure joy and happiness was just infectious! It caught out the most disgruntled and resistant to participate campers, and they couldn’t help but join in the wholesome fun. The result shows in their ability to relax and smile. During the Be-In of the next day, one parent shared what perhaps echoed others’ opinions too, that she was so moved by the rare opportunity where parents and their children can actually have such joy playing together as a family. But also be able to open up and share the happiness with so many other people whom they have just met for a day and a half.

The Be-In wrapped up the camp. It was a unique chance for the children to receive the Two Promises to cultivate understanding and compassion in themselves in order to protect and live peaceably with people, animals, plants and minerals.

Their parents looked on with pride and love, wishing only the best for their continuation. The teens offered a lively rendition of the Three Refuges, and a family offered their collective musical talent that resonated the heart strings of all in the room. The camp ended in true spirit of a sangha as everyone put out a helping hand to pack and tidy up the gymnasium. Thank you to all for your efforts at organizing, contribution in whatever form, and offering your mindful presence to make the family camp such a moving success in planting seeds of peace and joy.

 

 

The Freshness of an a youthful open heart

By Maggie Chau (participant/Teens program facilitator)

I have attended numerous retreats when Thầy came to Asia in the last few years. Attending retreats is an excellent chance to focus 100% on the practice (i.e. being a full time Buddha, for a few days). It is also a rare opportunity to put aside all family and work responsibilities (with a great excuse!)  Since I always enjoy the retreats and gain so much from it, I perceived my experience as taking away but not giving much back.  This year I finally have a chance to contribute. I joined Sister Hành Nghiêm, Brother Pháp Chứng, and Sister Sinh Nghiêm in leading the teen’s program and it completely changed my perception of taking and giving. I found that I took away even more in a supporting role than just being a participant!

Practicing with the teens and the always youthful monastic brothers and sisters watered many good seeds in me. I was lucky to share the room with four teenage girls. On the first night, I was surprised to see how quickly they bonded with each other (something quite rare in my experience as an adult). They lined up for two showers in a room of twelve people, shared among themselves and with me a hair dryer, and even had a lot of fun browsing each others’ photo collections in their smart-phones, not to mention these were all done without talking (we gave them a challenge to practice noble silence for as long as they could until after breakfast the following day). It was a pleasant surprise to see that they were able to observe it until before breakfast the next day! They seemed as if they have known each other long before the retreat.  How well they practiced nurturing brotherhood and sisterhood! It made me very happy as I recall my own experience of tasting the delicious fruits of brotherhood sisterhood (and there is no going back) with the friends from the International Delegation during the Thailand retreat in March 2011. Being the only child in my family, it was the first time I experienced true happiness from brotherhood and sisterhood, and it continues to be the biggest support to my practice. Regardless of their future spiritual path, I believe this retreat has watered many good seeds in the teenagers as well as everyone who took part in it.

During the Be-In one teenage friend, Wu Yin shared about how she has learned something new from her new friends, she realized that there is so much more to learn and discover about herself and her immediate surroundings. She concluded that it is important to go beyond what she knows and to learn and grow by new experiences. I am touched by her practice of deep listening and her open mindedness to knowledge and experiences shared by her new friends.  Now I understand what Thầy meant when he said he loves to sit next to children because of their freshness. The teenage friends reminded me of the freshness and openness I once had when I too was a teenager.

I was born in Hong Kong but spent most part of my youth in the West, looking deeply I am a person with “Asian soil” but has been nurtured by “Western water.”  I stayed in touch with a few close friends from high school/secondary school who on the other hand spent most of their youth in the East. We encountered some difficulties in communications over the past few years. I realize that it is because of the gap between how I perceive myself and who I really am. I never thought I was different from my friends, and was frustrated by the difficulties in understanding each other. Slowly I started to form a mental distance from them and resorted to only sharing from the bottom of my heart with friends who had a similar background as mine. Instead of learning to understand and embrace the differences, I have lost the freshness and open heartedness over time.  How lucky I am to be reminded by the teenagers that I once was able to meet new friends and embrace our friendship with wide open arms. I too was as fresh and pure as the morning dew and warm sunlight.

I am grateful to be able to practice with the sangha, it helps me to water all these good seeds and I believe if I practice well, these seeds will blossom into flowers as bright and embracing as the sunflowers. I will be able to share every moment with anyone without reservation, just like the teenagers I met at the retreat.

Learning joyfully together

By Arnold Cheung (a participant in the Teens Program)

To start off I would like to say I have learnt a lot from this camp and will be willing to go again in the future.

First of all, the things I enjoyed at this camp were the monks and nuns that enjoyed playing with us and knew how to do all kinds of interesting things that “wow-ed ” everyone. For example Brother Fa Jing showed his Kung Fu skills and he also knows how to play the guitar. Secondly, I enjoyed how children and adults can come so we can spend a lot of time together understanding more about the Buddha.

 

In this Buddha camp I discovered that I can release my anger by flushing the toilet or talking it out with my family. Secondly, I learnt that if I am sad or unhappy I can do mindful breathing so it can help too. I also discovered that monks and nuns eat vegetables instead of meat because they think animals are our friends so we should not eat them. Thirdly, I found out that monks and nuns in this Buddha camp don’t have to be serious all the time. They had a great time playing with the children and teens.

In this camp, I have learnt the meaning of “Buddhism”. Previously, before I went to this camp, I thought Buddhism was a very simple and understandable religion. But when I went to this camp, there was more than that. Monks and nuns had fun with everyone and enjoyed their life. I also understand why Monks and Nuns don’t eat meat and why they wear brown robes. 

I think vegetarian food is very yummy and nutritious. The only problem about only eating vegetables is that I will get really hungry easily. Which is why every time when it is lunch, breakfast or dinner, I will try to eat as much as I can. However, vegetarian food is easily digested which is why I am always very hungry.

Bringing my parents home

By May Lam

The reason why I joined the family mindfulness camp was my wish to experience living in the present moment with unfamiliar people. At first, I was quite calm in the first two days. But on the last day, I met a newly married couple who joined this camp with the hope to plant the seeds of peace and joy for their future; and a family who performed music. These warm family scenes moved me. My tears flowed like a waterfall??… As I look deeply into myself, I realized that I have been longing to have a happy family! Meanwhile, I am aware of a strong energy inside me, the feeling of “missing” something. But why did it come up now?

Two years ago, I got in touch with mindfulness practices. In every sitting meditation session, whether it was in day or night, once I closed my eyes tears would fall until the session ended. I did not see any images or human figures so I thought my crying was just due to tiredness. This reaction lasted for some time.

I regard myself as an emotionally rich person, so naturally I thought that there was nothing unusual when ever I thought about my parents and cried. However, during my contemplations at the camp, I found my inability to manage my emotions was actually revealing. Looking back, it was 9 years ago when they passed away. At the time I didn’t express any pain and sorrow. I thought I could let it go. But now, I realized that my tears fell because I actually missed my parents.

I joined this mindfulness camp alone, but was surprised that as I left the camp site I brought my parents back home with me. Learning about mindfulness is very interesting. It can help me understand myself more deeply and help me to transform. The most magical thing I have realized is that negative feelings can be transformed into positive ones.

I have kept the little secret of missing my parents for years. But now it can be opened as I can embrace my feelings and take care of my feelings. I believe that as long as I continue my practice diligently, one day I will be able to transform my tears into smiles.

Home grown family joy

By Br Phap Chứng (法 證)

This year’s family retreat has finished with joy and happiness for everyone. Although we only had three days to practice together but we achieved a lot of fruits of the practice and it was successful, more than I had thought. This camp was the second of its kind in Hong Kong, organised by Plum Village Hong Kong. Last year, we also organised it at Sai Kung with the support of the core sangha, a group of young volunteers, some teachers who helped to take care of the chidlren, and brothers and sisters who came from Plum Village, France and Thailand. This year, we have the presence of brothers and sisters from our own local sangha, therefore our preparation was more thorough and we created many very interesting activities.

In Hong Kong the fast pace of society creates a lot of stress and fear, worries and anxiety for many people. The communication between parents and children, family and society is very important. The family retreat helped people to connect with one another in their families. They could play together, sing together and practice together. More importantly, the children had the opportunity to get in touch with nature. After a long time in school studying and always sitting in front of the computer, they now felt free and at ease, running, skipping with friends. This was and is the greatest happiness for the parents. The parents also had time to relax after busy days at work, and the camp was a good time for them to communicate with their children, to be able to understand them more and take good care of them.

This year I was in the Teens’ Program with two sisters. We had about 25 teens and a few young adults. As facilitators we felt at ease to connect with the young people, and had a good time sharing with them. I was surprised that in the first day of the retreat the young people were able to open their hearts easily toward each other and flowed with everyone. On the second day we shared about the fifth of the Five Mindfulness Trainings through a comedy performance by the monastic and lay friends together. This created interest in the teens and they seemed to enjoy it, then we explored the issues raised in the scenario. For example, we asked them what they thought is the right and wrong thing to do in such a situation, and how things could be done better. It was so funny, and I think everybody enjoyed it. It made me happy to see that the good seeds in the teens were being watered by their environment and others around them. Another important thing was that the young people could share about their difficulties, and learn from each other how to handle their emotions.

These memories of playing with the teens nourished me a lot. I should make my mind to be the same age as these young people in order to be aligned with everyone in the group. I also learnt from them a lot which helps me to understand more about the young people of Hong Kong. I have lived through my teenage years and know that during this age there are many physiological and psychological changes that affect their character. This means that they need people around them to understand them, most importantly their parents and family. I think this age is difficult for young people and they need a lot of support from their family.

They shared in the Dharma discussion sessions that they were very happy to be at this camp, they met many new friends, and really had a chance to relax. During the retreat, they practiced so well, and many asked very good questions about how to recognise, embrace, handle and transform their emotions in order have better communication with others. They practiced listening to the bell, to go back to their breath, walking meditation, and eating in mindfulness. I think the most important thing was that they could relax and enjoy the program, that they could have a joyful and peaceful time with their family, and played and sang together with brothers and sisters.

On the last day of the retreat I exchanged views with some parents. They shared with me that they had enjoyed the camp a lot. Others said they wanted to bring their children too, but they didn’t come because they like their computer more than to attend and learn things at a Buddhist camp. Even though they were told to come many times, but the children think that going to a Buddhist camp is boring and they would have no fun. I think if they came they would have enjoyed it like other children and young people. After this camp I hope that they can remember these practices when they meet difficulties in their life. They can use mindfulness, breathing and walking to transform themselves, or at least they can have some nice memories of this family camp with Buddhist monks and nuns. Everybody had a chance to relax before returning to their usual busy and noisy working environment. Watering the good seeds in children can help them to become good people of society.

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